Pregnancy after Loss

I can't begin to imagine how it feels to lose a child. We came close once. But close is not the same. 

I also cannot begin to imagine how it feels to be expecting another child afterwards. There would be the joyful anticipation on the surface I suppose. The face you had to show everyone.  But I think if you carefully scratched underneath you might reveal a whole range of other emotions. Fear, uncertainty and perhaps another layer of grief you didn't even know existed. Pain even.. and the inability to get excited for fear that yet again your heart may be torn out. 

I realise this is an uncomfortable topic. But I want to sit with it and feel it. It's the least I can do. And I hope it might encourage others to talk about it.