Pregnancy after Loss

I can't begin to imagine how it feels to lose a child. We came close once. But close is not the same. 

I also cannot begin to imagine how it feels to be expecting another child afterwards. There would be the joyful anticipation on the surface I suppose. The face you had to show everyone.  But I think if you carefully scratched underneath you might reveal a whole range of other emotions. Fear, uncertainty and perhaps another layer of grief you didn't even know existed. Pain even.. and the inability to get excited for fear that yet again your heart may be torn out. 

I realise this is an uncomfortable topic. But I want to sit with it and feel it. It's the least I can do. And I hope it might encourage others to talk about it. 

Celebrating Emily Mae

Little Emily Mae was born on Wednesday the 20th September. She passed away on the following Friday evening. She was born into LOVE. From the very moment she existed it was present. So much love... and it is this love that will continue to carry her. It is love and support that will see her family through this unimaginable loss.

On the 15th of October, it is International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. A special day for us to honour those who have passed away. 

For those of us who have never been through such an experience, we might ask ourselves.. "what can I possibly do to help?" We might even convince ourselves, that by doing or saying nothing we are actually helping.  However, I think the overwhelming message I am receiving, is that we need to reach out. Reach out and connect. Offer practical and emotional support, and most importantly... talk about these beautiful children and their lives. Speak their names out aloud and with joy in your heart. Help break the silence. That is the most precious gift we can give. 

It is with the permission of Emily's parents, I share these special photos with you, that were taken before Emily was born to help celebrate and honour her life. 

My Angel up in Heaven

My angel up in heaven,
I wanted you to know,
I feel you watching over me,
everywhere I go.

I wish you were here with me,
but that can never be.
Memories of you in my heart,
that only I can see.

My angel up in heaven,
I hope you understand,
that I would give anything,
if I could hold your hand.

I'd hold you oh so tightly,
and never let you go,
And all the love inside of me,
to you, I would show.

My angel up in heaven,
for now we are apart.
You'll always live inside me,
deep within my heart.

- Dave Hedges